SC: Tips on Giving a Lap Dance

Stripper Chronicles - I will occasionally write on my life and times when I was dancer and what I learned and got out of it. I have found that all types of people are always asking me questions in particular about this time in my life. Although the industry likes to emphasize the occupation as a dancer, for ease of communication I usually just go with stripper.

I did not do any Google search but I imagine there are probably at least one million web pages that will give better descriptive and detailed tips then what you are about to read here. I am throwing my cheap advice more as simple cliff notes version that just remembering these things and doing them will pretty much guarantee making your man happy. I will not write about specific moves and positions as I am sure they are everywhere.

Most things I have read over time on giving a good lap dance come from two perspectives. The professional who gives tips based on just that doing it in a club. Or the woman giving tips for the wife too give a dance to the hubby. I would say my advice is a hybrid of the two. I believe most men prefer a more distinctive difference then wife being wife like and of course without the restrictive rules of a club want more then just a club dance.

I will break my tips out into two areas.

General lap dance tips

- It is not foreplay even if it is entirely about foreplay. Most doing this in private are trying to mix things up a little or give your guy a pleasant and fun new experience. The biggest key in doing that is not to tie it directly to foreplay where the mindset and routine type things we all do can control the whole thing. Make the lap dance separate and an event. Giving a lap dance after you have been making out and feeling each other up loses much of the appeal a lap dance has on a man.

For example I will often give a lap dance to Rock or a man I am entertaining as a way to go from a regular life moment to an intimate moment. The reason why is my biggest general tip which is…

- A lap dance is all about the man and not about you. I spent six plus years as a stripper and men are not paying twenty dollars for a few minutes of what I want or feel but they are also not paying that money just to get to see a naked woman up close and depending on the state feel a woman and some moments of their cock getting touched by a female body part. 

Men do not want a lap dance as an expression of love or their woman just happens to be horny. A good lap dance is made up of three things. 

1) It is an expression that the woman giving it finds the man sexually desirable. This is the biggest things and what keeps strippers rolling in the money. It is this act played between the two to convey I am more then happy to act like you make me all hot and bothered. This is why it is critical not to tie it in with you just being horny wanting to get laid and he just happens to be your man. It is your man makes you all horny.

2) A lap dance is giving over your sexuality toward how the man is geared for. In other words it is not about emotional intimacy but about visual and physical sexual attraction. In other words showing yourself in a way that lets him know they can at this time sexually objectify you in the moment. Let your man check out of having to be what society and political correctness has pounded into his head and let him just enjoy it for what it is. It is not about you feeling sexy but letting them see you as sex personified.

3) It is guys the nude parts and sexual things are important too. But the key is to still keep it from being slightly disguised foreplay. Men are more like women then society like to portray them. A lap dance devoid of #1 and #2 will not make any naked body part or grind on their penis be all that hot. But all #1 and #2 and no body parts and sexual stimulation will also be bad.

- Either commit fully or do not bother to do it. This is especially tough the first time you may attempt giving a lap dance but it is critical. You are giving a performance and maybe more times then not it will be easy because you are feeling the things you are trying to convey but still even then you are going to naturally want desired feedback as encouragement. But you will not always get every time you do something you think you should get it and it is critical not to get discouraged or trail off mentally, emotionally or back off from your dance all together. 

For example you maybe expect to hear him moan or his cock to burst through his pants when you look him right in the eye and slowly and seductively lick your lips. But if you do not get any reaction you might get discourage and the trick is not to be affected that way. A lap dance is not a buildup to something but an overall sexual performance. Let the guy be himself and he will get worked up on his own.

Specific Tips

- Create a good atmosphere. This goes to my point of not making it tied into normal couple foreplay but also like we all know still have it be a sexual atmosphere.

1) Depending on other factors do it in an uncommon place or the normal place. If you are going for some special event type thing then a change from the norm can be good. If you are more going to try to exude just how horny you are for them then doing it when they are sitting in their favorite room in their favorite place can be huge as well.

2) Change the lighting. Dim the lights or turn on ones not normally turned on and turn off the normal ones but send a signal something is different and softer tends to always be better.

3) Always have music! What is the best to dance to is not what you hear when strippers talk about music they dance to. When we talk about that we are talking about stage dancing where we need to exaggerate our moves and give off energy for the whole room as well as receive it. This will always mean loud and faster beats. The best music for sensual lap dances will be slower and softer. For Rock and my regulars I keep a play list in my IPod that I refresh frequently and have plug in stereo box just for doing this.

4) Always act like you really want to do this for him. This is a critical thing with professional strippers. The good ones that are able to get dances from men and keep them asking for dances is to create that magical illusion of we want to dance for them and not for the money. But this is still important for the amateur. A good stripper will always smile and be happy and try to convey moderate excitement when asking if we can give them a dance and from then on until the dance starts. When Rock asks for some lap dances I never not smile or go ok in a monotone voice as I head off to the bedroom to change into an outfit. I will always smile and go off in an enthusiastic way.

 - Dress the part. Again dressed how you may normally be and doing a lap dance that way can be cool but it can also be tied into standard foreplay and about you being horny which is what I wrote on above. Try to wear something that conveys sex toy. It does not have to expensive or an elaborate outfit or some uniform and can be as simply as just some sexy lingerie. I barely wear any clothes at home when the weather is warm enough and when I get asked or I want to give a lap dance to Rock or one of my regulars I will still get up and change quickly into something that at worse helps change the atmosphere. Heels are very good to wear as well. You do not need stripper heels but guys do like us wearing heels. 

- CONCENTRATE ON GOING SLOW AND TAKING LONGER ON EACH MOVE! The one thing I would emphasize in a post that you can find similar information all over the Internet. Almost every single time a new girl first starts doing lap dances they make the mistake of going too fast with every move they make. Now for many this is nerves and for people doing this for your love one nerves you may not have but trust me there might be nerves and even if there are not you will not be as slow as you think you might be if you do not concentrate on that fact. I cannot begin to count the number of conversations I had or heard to new dancers that went “you need to slow down. You are going too fast through your moves.” “No I am not.” “Yes you are” “No I am not I am being careful” “Yes you are, trust us!” This is not to say changing up your pace is not a good idea but even to do that you must recognize first if you are actually going slow or supersonic.

- Make sure you are always in control. For professionals the reason is for security but for private this again becomes about not making it foreplay and to keep conveying the “I am all hot and bothered for you”. Obviously getting your man all worked up is a goal and the lap dance is for them but letting them touch you where they want for as long as they want can defeat the many good things a lap dance is suppose to convey. Taking a man’s hands and placing them on your tits is a very hot thing for a guy. Do not toss that out by letting them just latch on and not let go. Give them a taste and move in a way that makes them break contact then go back and place them on again a little later in the dance. Do not let them pin you down if you are doing some dry humping. The lap dance is the seduction and the tease for the sex to come.

- Maintain eye contact frequently. Even if they are not looking at you if you are facing them make sure you are looking at them. Always make the dance about them in their minds.

- Always smile. Again about making the dance be about them and how you are enjoying doing this for them.

- Change up the routine and customize based on their reaction. Whether if you are to frequently give your guy lap dances or an extended lap dance session this is important. It is very easy to get into a routine and go through the motions. Most bad strippers have only 1-3 patterns to their lap dances that they act in a robotic way and the trick for a guy to spend all his money on you is him thinking the next dance will be different in some way. This advice is good for the home as well. Change up the combinations.

- Do not forget to touch yourself early and often. This one of the time old tricks professionals do to help sell the illusion that most men come to a strip club for, the illusion of a pretty woman finding them sexually desirable and wanting to dance for them and not for the $20. Many strippers the first thing they do before going into a dance or initiate body contact will fondle their tits. In fact, one trick is when performing a lap dance to the man that the first time he sees our breasts exposed up close and personal that he sees that our nipples are hard. Some dancers if they think they got a guy with money to spend might make an excuse to leave the guy in the VIP room before the next song starts up and go someplace to get them hard even to the point of running an ice cube over them. It just goes to help sell the illusion quickly. 

Men love seeing women act like sexual creatures and pulled away from always projecting love when sex is involved; this plus the always irresistible horny for them makes touching ourselves in sexual ways to be a great go to thing to wind them up. Just do not linger or put on a masturbation show as that is distracting. Another common move is when a dancer is taking a break from body contact with a little air dancing is for us to place one or a couple of fingers just inside our panties like we are playing with ourselves. 

- There men, massage their cocks. Inevitably as long as you have created a sexual atmosphere where a guy can get into it he then pretty much considers a good lap dance to be about how much and how well body contact he gets which is code for the cock being directly stimulated. Now my advice is opposite somewhat compared to the professional and the amateur. Professional are not “allowed” to touch the cock with our hand, mouth and pretty much be overt to anything touching it. Now most good lap dancers have a ton of techniques that push to break the rules in this and that includes ways for ourselves to give them a little hand action. But for amateurs I recommend little hand action as it can represent normal foreplay. But the bonus with the amateur lap dance you can be overt as you want. Any body part will do legs and feet are the most common but believe it or not the top of the head really drives the men nuts and your lips of course are a winner as well. Dry humping is a big go to but be careful to use it as a move among many and not some main thing.

- Last by not least leave them hanging when the song ends. When the song ends most strippers will go back to a move the man seemed to really like or one of those rule breaking ones that they all like. Of course we do that so they will want another dance. But this is good for the obvious reasons when done for our guy. Whether for another dance or moving onto more standard foreplay best to leave them with the happiest and horniest thoughts!

Remember to have fun and embrace being the sex toy for your guy! I know they want and appreciate those thoughts greatly.