Common Question VI

Have you ever had sex in a car since you were a teenager?

I enjoy a lot of fun play in cars but have not had a lot of sexual intercourse in cars. I have a mental trigger/issue that doing something sexual in a car because it is the only place or driving someplace private to do something will not work for me.

On the other in the spur of the moment or in a lust filled way I have given many blow jobs in parking lots and other places. I have had intercourse in a car as well both parked and while going but call me boring I have a preference for comfortable surroundings when fucking.

Now Rock and I when we get bored while driving to and from someplace will get quite mischievous as idle hands are the devils playground or something like that.

But my favorite times that have to do with a car are on occasion we take weekend trips with Sweetness and Lips and do what every two couples do and the manly men sit in the front and us women sit in the back. Just us women happen to enjoy making out and masturbating each other for a large portion of the trips!

Bonus question: How well do you receive constructive criticism?

Depends if it taps into my emotions or not. If it does I can go very dark if I do not catch myself. Pretty much someone might think they have come to a knife fight and I respond with a nuclear bomb. In a fight/flight defense mechanism I do not play fair.

I have issues that can be quite severe and that includes self esteem. I am harder on myself then anyone else can be. So this becomes about a survival skill learned from childhood that is not for healthy mature adult consumption.

If it is a criticism that does not go into the emotional area I am very good at taking constructive criticism. I have a thirst to learn things and have a natural tendency to think there is a better way or what I have done someone can do it better.

Get Real

Thinking about some of the games, lies and clichés the genders churn out about each other from reading this blog entry from The Errant Wife and the entry she was inspired to write her entry that I have no interest in giving the man free advertising although you can click on it from her blog.

Here are some random things off the top of my head.

-Yes, that woman always showing a lot of skin could be a cock crazed slut. She could also just be always hot or just an attention addict who might be only a cock tease that has hardly any sexual experiences. By the way that quiet woman over in the corner dressed for church could be cold and frigid she could also be the biggest slut there and has done things to make a porn star faint but does not need to advertise.

-The year is 2009, that girlfriend you have that is well into her twenties or older, do not believe for a second that your load was the first she took in her mouth if she tells you that. Just understand she really likes you and be grateful she is willing.

-Guys if you are too obsessed with rocking your girl’s world the odds are you are not going to rock their world because you are probably going to stress her out with your expectations.

-Love for a man and their sexual performance with us is only one part of a female’s sexuality. How we feel and feel we look can be critical as well and not dependent just on our man’s view but other people and women. There is a reason why women dress up more in public and that does not make them a slut or an attention whore just because.

-Often when a group of men go to a strip club together it is the married men that do not want to leave and the single men having to drag them out despite what they tell their wives. The single men think they can come back anytime. The married men do not know if they will ever be back.

-Women have sex drives. Men who think their awesomeness turns nun like thoughts of a girlfriend to porn like thoughts seek psychological help. Women are well aware of just do the slut but marry the virgin male thoughts and many when wanting to settle down will play coy with their sexuality, preferences and experiences. I do not see any winners here myself between the men who want that and the women pretending to be that.

-Size and girth does matter to a certain extent for most women. It just not the biggest or the fattest means much if anything at all for most. Most women while it may vary, do have a too small or thin base level. But for most other factors including how do you use it makes almost all men range from good enough to oh my.

-I have wiggled on or just flat out fucked many men in my life. I do not buy into the theory that black men on the whole have significantly larger cocks then white men. My only judgment is that there are fewer black men with cocks on the smaller side.

-Not every or even many or a few white women attracted to black men because of size or other sexuality myths. People are attracted to people for many reasons such as non racists open minded people might be attracted to other open minded non racist people or grew up in melting pot places and not just surrounded by our own race.

-Cum on our face, tits and other body parts is not particularly hot for most women. For many of us though the man who finds this hot and enjoys it that reason can make it hot for us.

-Men cumming too quickly can be a problem if it is standard operating procedure but a man cumming too quickly on occasion can be hot if it is because I think I got him that hot and bothered. Just as a man that takes forever to cum is not always cool and can sometimes make us feel we are not doing it for them.

-Yes, a screwed up chick with self esteem issues can be a freak in bed. They can also be completely normal (whatever that is) in bed and be too afraid to ever bed another. Men you are almost just remembering the sex with the screwed up sex, forgetting the normal and of course never had the one afraid.

-I have never had cum taste so bad that I could not handle it in my mouth or swallow it. Cum in the mouth and swallowing it is more of a psychological thing then anything and if the head believe something then it needs to be respected and changed with effort and patience.

Directness

To meet me in person I would be like a quirky TV character. The person that while not attempting to be rude, blunt or make others uncomfortable I have a faulty filter in my brain processes where I tend to me more direct and honest to people then most are use to or comfortable with. I also prefer this in how people deal with me.

I am not a fan of the political correctness of people wanting something but instead of just asking or going for it they hint, skate around it and other passive actions which all they do is put the burden on the other person. I just hate it when people cannot be direct because of their own issues or they somehow think it is for my benefit.

This is especially true when it comes to sex. Rebound is a great friend and basically family. He is going to make an incredible husband to a lucky and smart woman someday when he stops dating crappy women. Rebound is all romantic, considerate and completely faithful when dating a woman. But he cannot be direct about anything and especially sex. I have been fucking him whenever he wants just weeks after meeting Rock. I have spent weekends exhausted from his stays over in our home, been his date to several out of town wedding weekends and on and on. I have never turned down his cock for any other reason then being under the weather or needing to be someplace else. Yet unless I am basically nude or initiating with him, Rock or I have to give him direct go for it messages.

Yesterday early evening I was returning home after doing some things and Rebound was waiting in his car in our driveway. He comes in with me and starts talking and I can tell he is itchy. I also know between knowing him so well that he is horny as hell and is there to get serviced but he has informed me he needs to be across town fairly soon. But he cannot come out and just ask or make a move and since I am dressed very ordinary in jeans and a conservative blouse I am not exactly oozing I would love some cock. But Rebound has known me for so long and knows my default mood is I would love some cock. 

Part of me wants to punish/train him by not making any sexual overtures toward him but of course most of me has already gotten aroused by the promise of a good stiff dick and heck he is practically family. So just as I stall and ignore his passive hints enough to where he is getting a little uncomfortable I give in. I get up from my chair, walk to be directly in front of him and drop to my knees. I then unbuckle his belt, open the button of his jeans and slide down his zipper. I LOVE doing that. One of my favorite things is undressing my sex partner and hate when the man starts taking off their own clothes. 

Anyway I get his jeans and underwear to his ankles and proceed to lose my blouse and bra while giving Rebound a blow job. I give him the quick cum type as he is in a hurry after all and within a few minutes he is cumming. Feeling a little naughty and thinking Rock should be home soon I direct his cum to the top of my tits. A few minutes later Rebound is out the door and we part with two people smiling and me wondering when or if he will ever learn to know it is all good with me.

Rock gets home about thirty minutes later. I greet him as he walks in by just still wearing what I had on when Rebound left including his dried cum but I just put on some four inch heels for affect. Rock’s reaction is to give me a bear hug and to kiss me by immediately shoving his tongue hard and deep into my mouth. When I met Rock I did not know what a hotwife was and even wanting to be sexually objectified I still cannot get over just how cool moments like this are for me to feel. No matter how many times I do something I still am somewhat shocked at how great a reaction I get out of Rock. Cook his favorite meal is cool but blow a guy just before he gets home is super cool.

When done kissing, Rock inquires about dinner and when finding out I have not started it tells me to get my ass ready because he is going to be fucking it soon and proceeds to give me a hard slap on my ass as I head off to do just that. 

People that is what I call direct and arousing!

SC: Tips on Giving a Lap Dance

Stripper Chronicles - I will occasionally write on my life and times when I was dancer and what I learned and got out of it. I have found that all types of people are always asking me questions in particular about this time in my life. Although the industry likes to emphasize the occupation as a dancer, for ease of communication I usually just go with stripper.

I did not do any Google search but I imagine there are probably at least one million web pages that will give better descriptive and detailed tips then what you are about to read here. I am throwing my cheap advice more as simple cliff notes version that just remembering these things and doing them will pretty much guarantee making your man happy. I will not write about specific moves and positions as I am sure they are everywhere.

Most things I have read over time on giving a good lap dance come from two perspectives. The professional who gives tips based on just that doing it in a club. Or the woman giving tips for the wife too give a dance to the hubby. I would say my advice is a hybrid of the two. I believe most men prefer a more distinctive difference then wife being wife like and of course without the restrictive rules of a club want more then just a club dance.

I will break my tips out into two areas.

General lap dance tips

- It is not foreplay even if it is entirely about foreplay. Most doing this in private are trying to mix things up a little or give your guy a pleasant and fun new experience. The biggest key in doing that is not to tie it directly to foreplay where the mindset and routine type things we all do can control the whole thing. Make the lap dance separate and an event. Giving a lap dance after you have been making out and feeling each other up loses much of the appeal a lap dance has on a man.

For example I will often give a lap dance to Rock or a man I am entertaining as a way to go from a regular life moment to an intimate moment. The reason why is my biggest general tip which is…

- A lap dance is all about the man and not about you. I spent six plus years as a stripper and men are not paying twenty dollars for a few minutes of what I want or feel but they are also not paying that money just to get to see a naked woman up close and depending on the state feel a woman and some moments of their cock getting touched by a female body part. 

Men do not want a lap dance as an expression of love or their woman just happens to be horny. A good lap dance is made up of three things. 

1) It is an expression that the woman giving it finds the man sexually desirable. This is the biggest things and what keeps strippers rolling in the money. It is this act played between the two to convey I am more then happy to act like you make me all hot and bothered. This is why it is critical not to tie it in with you just being horny wanting to get laid and he just happens to be your man. It is your man makes you all horny.

2) A lap dance is giving over your sexuality toward how the man is geared for. In other words it is not about emotional intimacy but about visual and physical sexual attraction. In other words showing yourself in a way that lets him know they can at this time sexually objectify you in the moment. Let your man check out of having to be what society and political correctness has pounded into his head and let him just enjoy it for what it is. It is not about you feeling sexy but letting them see you as sex personified.

3) It is guys the nude parts and sexual things are important too. But the key is to still keep it from being slightly disguised foreplay. Men are more like women then society like to portray them. A lap dance devoid of #1 and #2 will not make any naked body part or grind on their penis be all that hot. But all #1 and #2 and no body parts and sexual stimulation will also be bad.

- Either commit fully or do not bother to do it. This is especially tough the first time you may attempt giving a lap dance but it is critical. You are giving a performance and maybe more times then not it will be easy because you are feeling the things you are trying to convey but still even then you are going to naturally want desired feedback as encouragement. But you will not always get every time you do something you think you should get it and it is critical not to get discouraged or trail off mentally, emotionally or back off from your dance all together. 

For example you maybe expect to hear him moan or his cock to burst through his pants when you look him right in the eye and slowly and seductively lick your lips. But if you do not get any reaction you might get discourage and the trick is not to be affected that way. A lap dance is not a buildup to something but an overall sexual performance. Let the guy be himself and he will get worked up on his own.

Specific Tips

- Create a good atmosphere. This goes to my point of not making it tied into normal couple foreplay but also like we all know still have it be a sexual atmosphere.

1) Depending on other factors do it in an uncommon place or the normal place. If you are going for some special event type thing then a change from the norm can be good. If you are more going to try to exude just how horny you are for them then doing it when they are sitting in their favorite room in their favorite place can be huge as well.

2) Change the lighting. Dim the lights or turn on ones not normally turned on and turn off the normal ones but send a signal something is different and softer tends to always be better.

3) Always have music! What is the best to dance to is not what you hear when strippers talk about music they dance to. When we talk about that we are talking about stage dancing where we need to exaggerate our moves and give off energy for the whole room as well as receive it. This will always mean loud and faster beats. The best music for sensual lap dances will be slower and softer. For Rock and my regulars I keep a play list in my IPod that I refresh frequently and have plug in stereo box just for doing this.

4) Always act like you really want to do this for him. This is a critical thing with professional strippers. The good ones that are able to get dances from men and keep them asking for dances is to create that magical illusion of we want to dance for them and not for the money. But this is still important for the amateur. A good stripper will always smile and be happy and try to convey moderate excitement when asking if we can give them a dance and from then on until the dance starts. When Rock asks for some lap dances I never not smile or go ok in a monotone voice as I head off to the bedroom to change into an outfit. I will always smile and go off in an enthusiastic way.

 - Dress the part. Again dressed how you may normally be and doing a lap dance that way can be cool but it can also be tied into standard foreplay and about you being horny which is what I wrote on above. Try to wear something that conveys sex toy. It does not have to expensive or an elaborate outfit or some uniform and can be as simply as just some sexy lingerie. I barely wear any clothes at home when the weather is warm enough and when I get asked or I want to give a lap dance to Rock or one of my regulars I will still get up and change quickly into something that at worse helps change the atmosphere. Heels are very good to wear as well. You do not need stripper heels but guys do like us wearing heels. 

- CONCENTRATE ON GOING SLOW AND TAKING LONGER ON EACH MOVE! The one thing I would emphasize in a post that you can find similar information all over the Internet. Almost every single time a new girl first starts doing lap dances they make the mistake of going too fast with every move they make. Now for many this is nerves and for people doing this for your love one nerves you may not have but trust me there might be nerves and even if there are not you will not be as slow as you think you might be if you do not concentrate on that fact. I cannot begin to count the number of conversations I had or heard to new dancers that went “you need to slow down. You are going too fast through your moves.” “No I am not.” “Yes you are” “No I am not I am being careful” “Yes you are, trust us!” This is not to say changing up your pace is not a good idea but even to do that you must recognize first if you are actually going slow or supersonic.

- Make sure you are always in control. For professionals the reason is for security but for private this again becomes about not making it foreplay and to keep conveying the “I am all hot and bothered for you”. Obviously getting your man all worked up is a goal and the lap dance is for them but letting them touch you where they want for as long as they want can defeat the many good things a lap dance is suppose to convey. Taking a man’s hands and placing them on your tits is a very hot thing for a guy. Do not toss that out by letting them just latch on and not let go. Give them a taste and move in a way that makes them break contact then go back and place them on again a little later in the dance. Do not let them pin you down if you are doing some dry humping. The lap dance is the seduction and the tease for the sex to come.

- Maintain eye contact frequently. Even if they are not looking at you if you are facing them make sure you are looking at them. Always make the dance about them in their minds.

- Always smile. Again about making the dance be about them and how you are enjoying doing this for them.

- Change up the routine and customize based on their reaction. Whether if you are to frequently give your guy lap dances or an extended lap dance session this is important. It is very easy to get into a routine and go through the motions. Most bad strippers have only 1-3 patterns to their lap dances that they act in a robotic way and the trick for a guy to spend all his money on you is him thinking the next dance will be different in some way. This advice is good for the home as well. Change up the combinations.

- Do not forget to touch yourself early and often. This one of the time old tricks professionals do to help sell the illusion that most men come to a strip club for, the illusion of a pretty woman finding them sexually desirable and wanting to dance for them and not for the $20. Many strippers the first thing they do before going into a dance or initiate body contact will fondle their tits. In fact, one trick is when performing a lap dance to the man that the first time he sees our breasts exposed up close and personal that he sees that our nipples are hard. Some dancers if they think they got a guy with money to spend might make an excuse to leave the guy in the VIP room before the next song starts up and go someplace to get them hard even to the point of running an ice cube over them. It just goes to help sell the illusion quickly. 

Men love seeing women act like sexual creatures and pulled away from always projecting love when sex is involved; this plus the always irresistible horny for them makes touching ourselves in sexual ways to be a great go to thing to wind them up. Just do not linger or put on a masturbation show as that is distracting. Another common move is when a dancer is taking a break from body contact with a little air dancing is for us to place one or a couple of fingers just inside our panties like we are playing with ourselves. 

- There men, massage their cocks. Inevitably as long as you have created a sexual atmosphere where a guy can get into it he then pretty much considers a good lap dance to be about how much and how well body contact he gets which is code for the cock being directly stimulated. Now my advice is opposite somewhat compared to the professional and the amateur. Professional are not “allowed” to touch the cock with our hand, mouth and pretty much be overt to anything touching it. Now most good lap dancers have a ton of techniques that push to break the rules in this and that includes ways for ourselves to give them a little hand action. But for amateurs I recommend little hand action as it can represent normal foreplay. But the bonus with the amateur lap dance you can be overt as you want. Any body part will do legs and feet are the most common but believe it or not the top of the head really drives the men nuts and your lips of course are a winner as well. Dry humping is a big go to but be careful to use it as a move among many and not some main thing.

- Last by not least leave them hanging when the song ends. When the song ends most strippers will go back to a move the man seemed to really like or one of those rule breaking ones that they all like. Of course we do that so they will want another dance. But this is good for the obvious reasons when done for our guy. Whether for another dance or moving onto more standard foreplay best to leave them with the happiest and horniest thoughts!

Remember to have fun and embrace being the sex toy for your guy! I know they want and appreciate those thoughts greatly.

Dressing to Feel Sexy

Well I had wanted to write about this topic when I was able to dress in one of my favorite ways. But since spring is being a big crybaby and not coming out and warming up where I live I decided to bribe it by talking about what I enjoy wearing during most of the year when it is actually warm enough.

Now my favorite thing to wear is a light summer dress. I prefer ones that are mid thigh to knee level and shows off a decent amount of cleavage whether from the front or side can be quite cool as men love seeing skin they do not normally see in places. Summer dresses can be very comfortable fabric and very easy to get on and off. They are also perfectly acceptable everywhere but with lots of possibilities to entice. 

Now I am not an exhibitionist in terms of getting turned on by showing off my body or doing sexual acts with people watching. But I am not blessed with having mixed feelings of enjoying men are checking me out and being also pissed off because they are staring at body parts. I just am of the enjoying part there. Outside of my volunteer work or some proper party the summer dress is warn sans bra or panties. Bra, well my breast mostly filled with silicone has other benefits and panties because the way it makes me feel and the ability to flirt.

I like wearing a dress like this because it feels both proper and like I am basically naked or can be in a second. This good and naughty dichotomy I really enjoy feeling in my head. I also have found dressing this way is a great way to attract and flirt with men. Nothing like bending in a way so a man can see the nipples or sitting and crossing the legs to give to let someone know I am shaved down there. I have found men like summer dresses a lot more then shorts and t-shirts and the flirting aspects help the bolder men actually hit on me.

I also love dresses because it encourages men to play with my pussy when I am wearing them unlike shorts or pants and there are great times to be had when without removing a stitch of clothing to have a cock going in and out of my pussy. 

I also love sarongs. I have found that the men in my life like me a lot when I am wearing a bikini top and a sarong, usually partially transparent, and nothing else around the house. Now you can also wear a sarong covering your breasts that goes down to mid or short thigh but I do not care for that other then if hanging out in a bikini on a beach or boating and going into a waterside bar or restaurant. To me I feel wearing a sarong like this is just like wearing a bath towel. But I do like wearing it as a long skirt. It then has a natural slit that goes write to the waist which is great for showing off a leg.

I will pretty much always wear the bikini top and sarong only bottom whenever there will be male only guest in the home or repairmen type people come by. I will put on a bikini bottom along with the sarong if I am going to run a quick errand instead of just changing. Depending on the place depends in how I wear the sarong. I really like them because of their flexibility.

My next outfit is to make use of the bikini bottoms and I will wear those and a male tank top preferably white. There is something about nipple indentions on white fabric that makes them pop out more. Tank tops are great braless again because you basically cannot help but flash your tits at people and men again love side boob. Instead of a bikini bottom I will also wear just panties. What is good about this outfit is that my men seem to think it gives off the impression I am horny, like when am I not, but at the same time just throw on some shorts and I am ready to go someplace outside. The male tank top just makes the front baggy as opposed to a woman’s and allows the flashing which in a weird way since I am often just wearing a tiny bottom that this focuses men to play with my tits.

The first few years when Rock and I were together I would also around the house just break out sexy lingerie and wear that around all day. But that just felt out of place like I have never got my day started or was trying to start my night too soon. I still do it on occasion or at least partial days starting in the evening but it is more just to mix things up then anything else.

Well now that I talked about it maybe Mother Nature will let us have a spring so I can start actually wearing my favorite clothes!

Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes I wonder if we will ever have a spring this year. Someone told me this weekend that long term reports had us skipping spring all together and one day summer is going to pop up. I live in a place where summer is very hot and humid, I need some spring days!

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a low sex drive. To not think sex when the question of “what would you like to do?’ comes up. Then I see other people who apparently would rather do anything else but sex and surveys answered like I would rather go shopping then have sex and I feel very fortunate I am not like those people.

Sometimes I wonder what my life will be like when my looking sexually attractive to other people is gone. I am not one to obsess over aging and this happen sometimes but sex is such a big part of my life and it cannot last like that forever. I hope things will be fine but it still pops into my head on occasion.

Sometimes I wonder when I am in a crowd or a room with many men I start going man to man in my head and think about what sizes their cocks are, what they taste like and how they would feel inside me and how they would fuck me. This has turned many a boring time and space to being quite ok to suffer through.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like where there were no sexually transmitted diseases and with birth control pills people did not have to worry about having unprotected sex. I have never heard a man prefer a condom over natural but I know as a woman I sure love feeling and seeing a man cum inside of me. It is both a physical pleasure I get out of it but also a psychological one almost like that is how it is suppose to be done. 

Common Question V

As an adult, the youngest and oldest you have had sexual relations with?

Oldest was an eighty-one year old I gave a blow job to. I will not go into the situation as I will save that for a later time but it was fairly quick and just fine thank you. The oldest I have had intercourse with I do not know as I did not ask for his age but he had to be in his late sixties to early seventies by my guess. I was twenty at the time and it was ok but nothing great or bad.

Youngest not that big of a deal yet with my age, I am going type that while I still can, but when I was twenty-two I was given to an excited eighteen year old birthday boy for a very enjoyable twelve hours of fun as I helped him out with his virginity. Even as a teenager I always enjoyed helping boys with this very much and this was very much fun and cool. I do not think the boy/man had even gotten to first base before me!